My most resonant definition for patients is
aligning with the pace of change.
Aligning with the pace of change. And what I mean by that is, so much of patience has to do with our illusion of control.
Right, we have a limited capacity for control, we can control what we do, on a certain level, as much as you are aware, like you make decisions to go somewhere and show up with a certain plan, strategy and motive.
But what others do very little control, maybe you can influence or manipulate.
And then when it comes to life itself, or bigger groups, or entities, or the country, or the continent, or maybe your work organization, the pace of change for 300 million people in America,
it's gonna be relatively slow.
Right, the pace of change of
20,000, person organization,
still going to be slow.
So when those places where
the natural pace of change is meeting resistance with your illusion of control, there's an opportunity for patients, there's also an opportunity for frustration, as someone mentioned earlier,
right, but we get to choose. And it really comes from seeing clearly,
like letting go of the illusion.
And also stepping into clear sight. Right. So if this is what I can offer, this is what I have control over
my, my words, my energy, my disposition,
right, my actions.
Beyond that,
it's out of my hands.
Just is, and so if someone or some group is responding to those things that you have control over
in a way that is not aligning with your desired outcome,
then there's a point where you can force
right, which is the weakest place to be is forcing. Because now you're in a, an illusion,
force, which leads to frustration or any heavy you're feeling or
align.
Allow
interest.
Like what's beyond that?
Because if you don't, well, now you've chosen a path that leads to more frustration leads to more hurt, when you could simply
allow and sit back in the seat
and mindfully accept, okay, I'm going to give this group or this person, space they need and the respect to make their own decision.
And also know that, by way isn't the only way. This starts to bleed into some of the other virtues and totems of mindfulness.
Being able to self regulate your attention, and maintain the disposition of
grounded awareness.
So patients aligning with the pace of change,
aligning with the pace of change, not your desired pace of change, but the actual pace of change.
And maybe one of the easiest.
Another easy way to describe this is, you see it in children.
They learn how to walk and then they want to run
and they walk really fast and they fall
and the pace of change of the body, right? Especially or your early development
is fairly set.
The child may be able to push and pull it a little bit but it's not instantaneous.
And I think in this day and age of right, swipe, swipe, swipe.
Give me that dopamine hit of another entertaining video or
one click bite now set your door later that afternoon on
online retailers.
We lose sight that that also comes at a cost
point somewhere there's
Somebody's in the opposite energy, right? Rushing in anxiety to make the delivery happen.
So I want to invite you to align with the pace of change, what does aligning with the pace of change look like in your life? What is aligning the pace of change look like with your dreams? What does aligning with the pace of change look like in your outcomes?
This isn't to
squash your fire your passion,
it's actually to help bring you more present. As you continue to have a nice long slowburn versus a very dynamic, hot, hot, hot, unrealistic expectations. You're at the top. And then when reality sinks in
your low, right? But very clear, okay, you can invite more ease and flow into your process, no matter what you're creating.
And then
it becomes about, oh, this, this process isn't me just getting the thing, or creating the thing.
This process is about me embodying
who I am as processes about the larger picture of life?
Which indeed everything is, if we're aware of it, we keep our eyes wide open.
How how to control your own energy.
Interesting question.
I ultimately think it comes from meditation is the short answer.
But when you're talking about the energy that you're holding, right, it comes from your emotions, energy in motion, right. And that energy is in motion within you.
But the issue is that a lot of those energies in motion, get stifled. Because we we resist, we don't align with the pace of change. We try to force fake happiness or suppress something because we don't want to allow ourselves to feel it.
I also think it's
a global reality that
the energy is a collective experience.
So right now, right, I'm getting a bit of your energy through your words. And you're getting a bit of mine through the screen and what I'm saying.
And it's impacting all of you, I'm sure in very nuanced ways. And now you're calling it your energy.
But we're experiencing each other. It's the collective energy.
So as things come to you, and through you, whether it's a thought, whether it's a feeling, whether it's someone's great vibe, someone's low vibes,
it's all a collective experience.
The question really is how do you dis identify with the energy?
How do you unattach and let go of an outcome.
And that comes through meditation.
Neurons that fire together, wire together. So often, we have the same thoughts going on in our mind, which are worrisome thoughts, usually from old trauma, old energy that has become stagnant, but we suppressed it.
But it's still there. So when we get triggered,
right, and maybe many of you have in this mercury retrograde and all of the interesting
things that have been happening lately in the world.
Well, now you've lost control your energy, and it's just
right, you've gone back to when you were seven years old, and that thing happened. I've definitely been there.
But he take a moment to sit in your practice.
And, you know, the common thing is to follow the breath, or to follow your body, just scanning where your body is, because the body is always in the present. Right? The body is always in this present moment. So in the beautiful souls community, just this weekend, we were talking about processing anger. And part of that process was to do something called SIFT, just becoming aware of what sensations, images, feelings, and thoughts
that are arising right now.
So what am I experiencing in my body? Is my heart rate elevated? What images? Am I seeing in my mind? What actions? What feelings? Can I name my emotions beyond just mad, sad or angry?
Can I get to the core of what thoughts are coming, because usually when we've lost control of our energy we've lost,
we've been taken, we are completely identified with our emotion, our thoughts.
So if you take a moment to practice a grounded meditation,
right, you sit back,
just take a few breaths, maybe it's easier to count, to help you get out of your mind or to give the monkey mind something to do. So inhaling
1234, exhaling 1234
You spent eight seconds in meditation.
And as you expand that, maybe you get to 1632 64 and so on.
You start noticing what am I doing, I'm self regulating my attention. My attention isn't just being taken each and every moment by any and every thought that comes in.
Right? So I'm thinking about work, or I'm thinking about lunch, or I'm thinking about my ex, or my partner or
right, because bing, bing, boom, boom.
But rather,
when you expand beyond the breath, now you go into the mind into the deeper meta awareness, the awareness of your awareness.
And in that space,
you can do what Mickey singer calls sitting back in the seat. And if you imagine this being the plane of the movie of your life, right, and you're right here in the middle of it, that's being taken by each and every wave that's happening.
But now, if you sit back in the seat of your awareness, or maybe it's easier to show this way, you go from being right here.
To here.
Now, you can witness everything that's happening, but you're not attached to it.
And that's what the biggest thing about meditation is that people maybe misunderstand, it's not clearing your thoughts or controlling your thoughts.
It's unattached
and attached to the thoughts attached to the outcomes.
And attached to the illusion, right, like we were talking about earlier of,
oh, I have to control all of life. And then you get frustrated when your illusion has dissolved. When really all you have to do is unattach. Even the idea of peace itself isn't just some mystical feeling that comes to you.
It's being unattached. Because you're sitting back, you're not being taken by the things, all those things are still happening, all your thoughts
are coming in and out energies in motion.
But you're not on those waves. You're not attached to those waves so heavily.
And also understanding it's not a finite thing. It's a regular practice.
But this is a big reason why I created the beautiful souls community.
So that we can practice together every day, I lead guided meditations every morning at 730. And we take a moment just to scan the body, get grounded in the body. Ask deep questions and open the heart with loving kindness.
Because when you're in that space, most of it is just about acceptance. Can you accept the world? Does it mean that you stop fighting for the changes that you want to create? But on a fundamental level, for your own peace? Can you get out of the illusion
of unreasonable expectation and step into reality? Just a grounded understanding? This is the way the world is. Everyone has experienced their own traumas. And they're all unfolding in this cacophony of color and sound and tone and tambor and some you really resonate with and some are very dissonant.
Right? Can you step in to that seat of your awareness, but also this practice of deep love deep compassion.
There's a practice called karuna, which is, is challenging because you are receiving all of the world's suffering as your own remembering that we are one, right. There's no separation in the energy, talking about controlling your energy. It's ours.
And then, on the other side is mudita, which is empathetic joy, though, right? Not only do you get to bask in the universal connection of maybe the suffering and the heaviness, but also the bright, beautiful joy. Right. Maybe some of you are experiencing with either right now maybe
I'm experiencing some of my joy, some of my peace, as you would say, my, but just what's flowing through me right now.
All of these practices are essentially
dissolving the illusion of separation because we're social beings, even though we live in a world that's more isolated than ever,
which is also a big part of the reason why people are experiencing more stress, and trauma and hurt than ever.
Just because we haven't learned how to process through these emotions well,
and don't get me wrong. I like you, I am always a work in progress, as they say, experiencing the full range of life. But this practice has helped me to be able to come back to this space, the seat of my awareness sitting back in the seat more frequently.
And ultimately has provided me with better mental health,
which is what this month is all about. It's Mental Health Awareness Month.
And it's a large part of why I do what I do.
Because I realized that the
core of our issues is that
we've been delivered skills on math, we've been delivered skills on economics, history, biology,
we haven't been offered many skills, not in our schooling anyway.
Just how to be with your emotions,
how to communicate your emotions, how to hold space for another when they're going through a difficult time.
The tools we've been offered instead, or judgment, wore black and white thinking.
And if the only tool you have to approach a conversation with is a shield or a knife,
how well can that go?
Right?
So meditation
is really the key there, it allows you the space to be a witness to your own experience, which gives you the skill to better be a witness to the experience of others.
And when you're in that space of groundedness, even in the midst of
a large dynamic of emotions,
you're better able to make wiser decisions for yourself, you're better able to make more loving decisions for yourself and for others. So you know, we're talking about controlling your emotions, I want to demystify with what's really happening.
Right? Because a show could come on, and you can turn your nose up, right? It's like, Where'd that come from? Well, the energy of that show all those actors, actresses, the idea that came from somebody else's or a group of
people. Right now you're having a response to
it's not your emotions, it's just life. It's one big entity, and learning the balance of being a part of it. And also a witness to the journey. And being able to self regulate that attention and go, Oh, right now I'm diving all the way in want to ride this wave because I
am consciously choosing to do this.
And as moment when maybe you get triggered or you get hurt, I'll have tools and mechanisms to help me sit back in my awareness, sit back in my seat, be grounded, and come back to this at another time, or maybe at a different angle.
Right.
So
with that in about 30 minutes, if any of you guys want to join us for meditation, or start a regular meditation practice, and now's a great time, because in honor of mental health awareness month, the membership to the community is half off for the first two months.
So for what practically 5060 cents of meditation, you get to be a part of this group of meditators each morning. And if you can't make the 730 central time, the meditations are uploaded to a library of recordings for anyone to listen to, when you do have time, as well as regular sound baths, sharing circles and workshops.
We just did a workshop on anger, which was really empowering and impactful, demystifying anger, but talking about how to approach it mindfully. Because I think what many of us miss is that anger is a secondary emotion. It's the way we mask a majority of the time unless you're being chased by a lion. Generally speaking, your anger is a mask for primary emotions, the seeds of your anger, which usually are about being vulnerable, rejected, hurt or sad.
Because another issue is that the social construct has made it okay to be angry, but not okay to be sad, which is why you may find yourself out in public hearing others often talk about how angry they are the quote unquote opposition.
When really there, they may be feeling threatened or rejected in a way or unseen by that group that has a very different gender
so before we get on actually, I'm going to play a little bit and I want you to set a conscious intention this morning.
It's another mindful practice it doesn't always have to be seated in silent.
But what are you What's your intention for the day? What is the framework that you're using for your soul to expand a goal to the very targeted outcome, but an intention is about a state of being.
So for instance, my intention
is always to be a conduit for grounding, healing and transformation.
There's no specific outcome there.
But it is about holding space
for myself and others in the best way that I can.
Going to offer you
this metta loving kindness, blessing
for you and all beings everywhere
so if you take a moment just to close your eyes, and
envision all beings everywhere, all souls in human forms, all the other animals on land, air and sea
up there plant life or flora, fauna,
all of your ancestors, all that came before us and all that will come after.
And we offer this you know for so blessing to remind us that we are all one that we are all connected to practice the skill of mindful compassion and loving kindness
May all beings be happy
May all beings be healthy in body, mind and spirit
may all beings take care of themselves wisely
May all beings be safe and protected
and May all beings be peaceful and at ease
hope that
blessing lifts your heart
and I hope that our time together was grounding for you.
And if you want to join us for a meditation practice this morning on cultivating deeper patience
you can sign up at a soul cultural that calm for the beautiful souls online community.
And ignite I'll see you another time.
We will get
much love
