question is how do we become more like you or more like me more able to hold loving space for others. First, I want to say, the short, simple answers to become more like you, your authentic self, not me. Because that'll, that'll lead you astray. Because you're not here to be me. Now, what that means more specifically is you're talking about holding space for others. It's really the art of learning how to do that for yourself, because you can't give what you don't have. And I'll share a little bit about my journey. And maybe this will help you. So for a long time, my survival strategy as a child was to show up as emotional support for my family, my parents, other people in my life, thinking that was the way that I would be seen, loved and heard. I didn't know this at the time. But at a certain point, I lost myself and I reached my bandwidth. I peaked out and I crashed, a lot of anxiety, hurt, depression, fear, and isolation. And as I begin to dig deep into my why, deep into my heart deep into my healing, I recognize that I was practicing something that the Buddhists would call idiot compassion. Which is essentially sacrificing yourself in an unhealthy way, in order to show compassion to another. But grounded, wise, compassion, compassion of the sages is knowing that you have to show yourself compassion first. Knowing that you have to learn how to really, unconditionally love all parts of you and be present with all parts of you. Before you can show up for others. So for a long time, my focus was on my wi, realizing that I spent a majority of my life doing what was normal. Getting back to what we were talking about in the last question, assimilating into our society, but losing myself in the process. So doing what was the normal sort of what was natural, what came naturally from me, realizing that so many of my y's had to do with making other people comfortable around me. And so as I begin to let go of those things through meditation, getting more grounded within myself, knowing what was true for me, by digging deep in, through as many practices as I could find, whether it was meditation, seeing intuitive, seeing, mediums, seeing other teachers reading as many books as I could, and even plant medicine ceremonies, I begin to see myself truly, right there's a line of my poem. I'm the love of my life, that says isolation allows us to embrace the freedom of self, for loneliness as an idea cherished by those who do not like the sounds within. If only they would tarry, they would see that their true voice would arise in sweet harmony with the song of the ages. The song it says, of all in all, in through all, I am the love of my life. And what that line really means is that you have to start to date yourself in a way and spend time alone many of us spend all of our time trying to do things for other people or be with other people, in a way, distracting ourselves from our own hurt. This is different from embracing community with intention, and accepting community care from those safe spaces where you can actually be yourself. But being alone with the intention of finding peace and solace with who you are, where you've been, what you've done, and where you're going. So, if you want to hold space for others, I want to I would encourage you to ask yourself why. Really ask yourself who am I on a soul level, you let go of all of the physical attributes of your reality, gender, age, nationality, ethnicity, vocation name, and really allow your heart to speak. Then you will will begin to get clear about who you are and why you are and you won't have to ask anyone. It will arise from within naturally. Also, a shorter answer is meditate. In this society we've been trained doing is the way to be. But it's quite opposite. Being is the way to do being present is the only way you should do anything. And many of us are very absent. So cultivating the skill of mindfulness and if you're looking for some support, I would encourage you to join us in the beautiful souls online community. Live meditation every morning 30 minutes 7:30am Central time and it's all about self inquiry, and finding that peace and relief from anxiety and depression to get clear, so that you can hear your own voice and know without needing permission know without needing approval, but know from within
